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NeoOffice :: View topic - Translating 1.1 Announcement & Release Coordination
Translating 1.1 Announcement & Release Coordination
 
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sardisson
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:41 am    Post subject: Translating 1.1 Announcement & Release Coordination Reply with quote

OK, time for a new thread to finish all this up.

I just incorporated quotes from Patrick into the announcement and tried to polish up the "Feature-Complete Office Solution" section.

http://neowiki.sixthcrusade.com/index.php/NeoOffice/J_1.1_Announcement

Still to be done:

The aforementioned section needs review and, undoubtedly, additional polish from the rest of you. I fully expect "tyranny" to disappear Smile and be replaced by a softer phrase. I'm also not attached to the sentence about adoption of Neo/J--that can go entirely if it's not liked.

I've tweaked two section headers' wordings, so see what you think.

The "Open Source Development" section is there as a source of ideas (and a holder of a good Patrick quote) and needs to be removed. I'd like to see the last sentence of Patrick's quote ("The combined contributions of our users have made NeoOffice®/J what it is today") end up in the release *somewhere*. I'm just not sure where--thus the dead section sticking around to hold it.

Likewise, the final quote is kind-of out of place. I think it's important we temper the announcement a little, in some way, and that fit with the development angle in the tail end of the previous paragraph.

So fit those two quotes/ideas in somewhere, please Smile

Finally, I think we need to finish all of our editing and tweaking and polishing and proofing of the English text by Friday so translation can begin (and so we can then focus on finishing up the Press Kit Smile)

Smokey

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Last edited by sardisson on Sat Jun 18, 2005 5:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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pluby
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Overall, I really like the press release! I think you worked in my verbose quotes quite well. Smile

Patrick
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sardisson
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pluby wrote:
Overall, I really like the press release! I think you worked in my verbose quotes quite well. Smile


Thanks Smile There was a good framework in the release that everyone's worked on for months(?) now....


So, Waldo went and made his initial pass over the text, made some changes and suddenly I could look at the release again (also some sleep!) So I made some more changes, integrating some parts of the quotes that were good but needed a home. Between W's first edits and my new changes, we've addressed most of the concerns I had with the original version I posted yesterday. Smile

We just need to beef up the "intro" pgh to the open source section, you know, make it a real paragraph and all Smile And figure out what to do with the non-paragraph-one-sentence about adoption of Neo/J. Tack it on to the end of the following (Patrick-quote) pgh or just put it out to pasture?

Smokey

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JKT
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having re-read it again I think I have one suggestion that may be a little controversial at this late stage in the day ( Surprised ) - I think it might be better to re-organise the order of the different sections to achieve a better impact.

Basically, I suggest moving the "Seamless Integration of OpenOffice.org with Mac OS X" section to below the "Mac OS X 10.4 "Tiger" Spotlight Support" section. Putting that into a visual context:

1. Intro
2. A Feature-Complete Office Solution for the World
3. Mac OS X 10.4 "Tiger" Spotlight Support
4. Seamless Integration of OpenOffice.org with Mac OS X
(5. Open Source Development)
- this section could then be merged into the one above thus forming the last two sentences of that section.
6. Pricing and Availability**
etc.

My rationale for doing this would be that someone who has no idea* about either OpenOffice.org or NeoJ is not going to care very much about the fact that NeoJ is based upon OpenOffice.org or even an open source model - what is going to grab their attention most is the "free"-ness and the features it offers. For that reason, it makes sense to me to put the listing of features as close to the top of the release as possible so that people who glance at the release will more readily see that list. I don't think that would require a re-write of any of the sections at all - just a bit of cut and paste. Comments?

* Which, one would expect, is likely to be the vast majority of the people who read the press release - afterall, not everybody religiously follows Mac forums and websites.

** Is it necessary to have "pricing" in that title? To someone skimming the release, it could imply that NeoOfficeJ actually costs something rather than being free. Perhaps that title should just read "Availability". Alternatively (or in addition), we could embolden the free in "Released as free, open source..." to make it more eye-catching.

(Edit: I'm trying to think of the perception of this press release from the basis of someone who hasn't been involved with the development or use of NeoOffice or OOo before - which I'm assuming is our main target audience for growth of use of the app).

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sardisson
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that Spotlight makes more sense *after* Seamless Integration, rather than before it, or even as part of Seamless Integration (although that section then becomes quite long).

Also, I don't follow how the Open Source Development section could become the last two sentences of Seamless Integration. I don't see any hooks, transitions, or flow....

I'm undecided on dropping "Pricing" from Pricing and Availability. I don't think it will confuse anyone who is sent the release, and it is standard language. And we do have a price: free Smile

Otherwise I agree. We have two targets, people using Office or other software, and people using X11 and suffering. There are definitely more of the former and to some extent the Feature Complete applies to the latter group, too (localization), so it should be first.

Smokey

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JKT
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sardisson wrote:
I think that Spotlight makes more sense *after* Seamless Integration, rather than before it, or even as part of Seamless Integration (although that section then becomes quite long).

Also, I don't follow how the Open Source Development section could become the last two sentences of Seamless Integration. I don't see any hooks, transitions, or flow....

I'm undecided on dropping "Pricing" from Pricing and Availability. I don't think it will confuse anyone who is sent the release, and it is standard language. And we do have a price: free Smile

Otherwise I agree. We have two targets, people using Office or other software, and people using X11 and suffering. There are definitely more of the former and to some extent the Feature Complete applies to the latter group, too (localization), so it should be first.

Smokey

I guess I was thinking of Spotlight searching as being more of another feature rather than as part of the seamless integration - but either way would be valid. However, I think the way it screams that the product is "ready for 10.4" made it more desirable to have it near the top of the release.

Wrt the OSD section being merged with the Seamless integration - it was just as a suggestion as I thought you wanted to remove that heading and it seemed to fit best alongside the OpenOffice.org section (as OOo is an OSD project too). Personally, I think keeping the OSD section as it is would be better.

Anyway, taking another look, I see that more changes have been made (fwiw, I made a quick edit whilst I was looking to correct a ,, typo in one of the quotes). However, again, I think it makes more sense to rearrange things a bit. The "A Simple Idea" section should go below that of the "A Feature-Complete Office Solution for the World" as it would then provide a good lead into the "Seamless Integration..." section.

My tuppence worth Wink

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sardisson
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JKT wrote:
I guess I was thinking of Spotlight searching as being more of another feature rather than as part of the seamless integration - but either way would be valid. However, I think the way it screams that the product is "ready for 10.4" made it more desirable to have it near the top of the release.


That's a good point, but I still think it fits the overall flow better after "Seamless" Smile

JKT wrote:
Personally, I think keeping the OSD section as it is would be better.


Yeah, I think Waldo fixed up that section pretty well.

JKT wrote:
Anyway, taking another look, I see that more changes have been made (fwiw, I made a quick edit whilst I was looking to correct a ,, typo in one of the quotes). However, again, I think it makes more sense to rearrange things a bit. The "A Simple Idea" section should go below that of the "A Feature-Complete Office Solution for the World" as it would then provide a good lead into the "Seamless Integration..." section.


Yep, Waldo was editing last night and I came in this morning. I'm trying to be less OCD (or whatever Oscar called me Smile) about it by not watching every minute, but we do need to get it finished and frozen for translation....

And I agree, we need to keep the "Office Solution" (now apparently morphed into "A Feature-Complete, World-Class Office Solution") first. لا شكة في ذلك

(This also gets us a nice long-short, long-short balance....)

Smokey

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val1984
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I'll translate this tonight (GMT+2 Wink).
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sardisson
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

val1984 wrote:
I think I'll translate this tonight (GMT+2 Wink).


Wait until Friday (unless you want to keep updating it); the freeze for translation is not until then Smile We're getting close, but I imagine there will still be lots of tweaks yet....

Smokey

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JKT
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sardisson wrote:
Yep, Waldo was editing last night and I came in this morning. I'm trying to be less OCD (or whatever Oscar called me Smile) about it by not watching every minute, but we do need to get it finished and frozen for translation..

Well, it always does good to step back and leave text for a while before re-reading it - you spot far more errors that way. AFAICT, the actual contents are all good to go (any further typos notwithstanding). I'll take another look tomorrow if I can.

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sardisson
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JKT wrote:
Well, it always does good to step back and leave text for a while before re-reading it - you spot far more errors that way.


Absolutely! The text I put up when I started this thread was a mess in some places, but I couldn't look at it anymore....

JKT wrote:
AFAICT, the actual contents are all good to go (any further typos notwithstanding). I'll take another look tomorrow if I can.


Good Smile Thanks.

Smokey

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JKT
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry - didn't get a chance to read it yesterday... however, everything looks good when I read it a few minutes ago, though I'm not too convinced that the "Today's release is only the beginning." as a standalone sentence looks altogether right - it might be better to merge it with the prior sentence:

"As the user base has grown and become more involved, NeoOffice®/J has benefited and improved accordingly," Luby added. "It is the combined contributions of our users that have made NeoOffice®/J what it is today... and this release is only the beginning."

However, that is a minor quibble, so if things are already frozen, don't worry.

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sardisson
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JKT wrote:
Sorry - didn't get a chance to read it yesterday... however, everything looks good when I read it a few minutes ago, though I'm not too convinced that the "Today's release is only the beginning." as a standalone sentence looks altogether right - it might be better to merge it with the prior sentence:

"As the user base has grown and become more involved, NeoOffice®/J has benefited and improved accordingly," Luby added. "It is the combined contributions of our users that have made NeoOffice®/J what it is today... and this release is only the beginning."

However, that is a minor quibble, so if things are already frozen, don't worry.


Waldo originally had it alone, I merged it with the previous sentence, and Waldo moved it back alone. Smile With your vote, I'm going to merge it again Smile

I'm going to make that change and then Freeze the text for proofing. That means any changes must be discussed here first. Then once we get it proofed, spell-checked, and Ed's quotes approved (hopefully this weekend), we'll begin translations.

NB I have protected the page to enforce the freeze...not because I think people will tweak things in defiance, but to make sure that 1) everyone knows the page is frozen and changes need to be discussed here and 2) to make sure we don't get any translations started before the frozen text is proofed and approved (incl. Ed's quotes). I'm not trying to be @#$#@$#--just want to make sure we're all on the same page since we're all in different timezones and schedules Wink

Smokey

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Waldo
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sardisson wrote:

Waldo originally had it alone, I merged it with the previous sentence, and Waldo moved it back alone. Smile With your vote, I'm going to merge it again Smile


ALright, alright. I've been outvoted. I was just doing it like a final quote kinda thing... never mind.

Quote:
I'm going to make that change and then Freeze the text for proofing. That means any changes must be discussed here first. Then once we get it proofed, spell-checked, and Ed's quotes approved (hopefully this weekend), we'll begin translations.


Sounds good.

W
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Waldo
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Has any thought been given to where to send the press release when it's done?

ie, news agencies or press-release-forwarding-services or whatnot?

W
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