Welcome to NeoOffice developer notes and announcements
NeoOffice
Developer notes and announcements
 
 

This website is an archive and is no longer active
NeoOffice announcements have moved to the NeoOffice News website


Support
· Forums
· NeoOffice Support
· NeoWiki


Announcements
· Twitter @NeoOffice


Downloads
· Download NeoOffice


  
NeoOffice :: View topic - NeoOffice and OpenOffice.org, A Play
NeoOffice and OpenOffice.org, A Play
 
   NeoOffice Forum Index -> Random Whatnot
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 7:10 pm    Post subject:

(made this sticky just because I reread it from the beginning and once again laughed my ass off...the fact I was investigating local moz compilation helped too...if this play isn't the acme of "random whatnot" I don't know what is (no, I'm not referring to acme the grocery store) )

ed

/i'm glad you appreciate fine wine, have another glass
Back to top
LemonAid
The Anomaly


Joined: Nov 21, 2005
Posts: 1285
Location: Witless Protection Program

PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:51 pm    Post subject:

That JakeOSX is some GREAT story teller.
This is the second/third/? time that he has seen into the future (and it's ... toooo funny! Twisted Evil ).
jakeOSX wrote:
<snip>
N: Look, we are not the bad guys.

O: So, what are you three talking about over there?

All three: ONE MINUTE

NI: I don't want to be the bad guys.

NL: I am too young to be evil

NI: I'd have been someone else's clone if I knew you were the bad guy

NL: I'm just a side kick, really, doesn't that make this your fault? (points to Neo)

N: STOP! We aren't the bad guys. (Pause) but you are right, they do have nice outfits.

NL: So now what? . . .

After reading the latest <rant> over at Marketing OpenOffice I've decided that "I don't want to be <one of> the bad guys." I DON"T! Crying or Very sad It's not fair, I'm kinda a nice guy and I <don't> want to to be part of the "perfectly organized - hypocrisis".

I just came here to get a cool "aqua" OOo outfit to wear on my Mac, purge myself of Microsoft, and get some real work done - I did NOT sign up be one of the bad guys! Really!

Philip (I'm not, Not, NOT a bad GUY. maybe lame, but that's all I'll agree to! Rolling Eyes )

\ Yes, I think Philip is ranting again. Embarassed
\\ Don't stare directly at him and maybe he will go away Shocked

\\\ <edits> to correct ... freudian slips Embarassed


Last edited by LemonAid on Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:16 pm    Post subject:

If you're really not evil, why is your avatar wearing an eyepatch? After all, it kinda looks like a pirate...and that reminds me of the pirate bay...Laughing

I, however, have a goatee and ponytail so I believe by default that makes me evil. And I'm certainly not gonna shave anytime soon.

ed
Back to top
ovvldc
Captain Naiobi


Joined: Sep 13, 2004
Posts: 2352
Location: Zürich, CH

PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 10:43 pm    Post subject:

OPENSTEP wrote:
I, however, have a goatee and ponytail so I believe by default that makes me evil. And I'm certainly not gonna shave anytime soon.


Not anymore... See http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html, rule 35.

-Oz
Back to top
LemonAid
The Anomaly


Joined: Nov 21, 2005
Posts: 1285
Location: Witless Protection Program

PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:10 pm    Post subject:

OPENSTEP wrote:
If you're really not evil, why is your avatar wearing an eyepatch? After all, it kinda looks like a pirate...and that reminds me of the pirate bay...Laughing

I, however, have a goatee and ponytail so I believe by default that makes me evil. And I'm certainly not gonna shave anytime soon.

ed

OK, I was so excited about picking an avatar that my fingers ... bounced off the keyboard and . . . poked me in the eye! Embarassed Shocked

Don't buy that? How about - All the "good" ones were already taken!

Did I say that "Ed" made me pick that one? Rolling Eyes

And "I don't know no-thing about no stinky ... pirate" (or bay).

I, however have (mostly) white hair and a white beard. I look so much like Santa (did I mention that am a ... round, jolly fellow Wink ) that a do Santa gigs during Christmas. Laughing Laughing Laughing
I'm NOT bad, not, Not, Not Exclamation

Philip ( could lose my Santa-in-training status if I'm found to be one of the "bad" guys. Shocked )
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 8:16 am    Post subject:

You could always work it into your bit by becoming "Santa Claws"...

ed

/tim burton can do some really great stuff
Back to top
jakeOSX
Ninja
Ninja


Joined: Aug 12, 2003
Posts: 1373

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:20 am    Post subject:

/.ers
In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream at your computer

(peaceful day, birds chirping, butterflies flying, cats and dogs laying together in harmony. NeoOffice is laying out in the grass, enjoying the serenity.)

NeoOffice: What a day.

(phone rings, Neo picks it up without opening his eyes)

N: Beautiful day here.

Trinity.forums.neooffice.org: (garbled)

(NeoOffice sits up)

N: Trinity?

Trinity: Neo! I.. (screams)

(Neo curses at his phone, trying to get Trinity back. He stands and starts running back towards his home)

N: (on phone) Intel, you there?

NeoOffice Intel: Yo, wassabi?

N: Trinity is down, we gotta move!

NI: What? I'm on it, you get here.

(Neo runs into the house where NeoIntel and NeoLight are working on several terminals.)

Neo: How is she?

NeoLight: Her vitals are low, dangerously low.

NI: Oh no...

Neo and NL: What?

NI: She.... she was slashdotted.

(dramatic music. It becomes a dark night all of a sudden, the three are now in an industrial complex dressed as space marines)

NL: What is that on the horizon?

(The three look out over the walls. There are figures of all shapes and sizes stumbling towards the walls. Their numbers are growing with each moment)

N: /.ers, NeoLight, Posters.

/.1: FRIST POST HAHAHAHAH!

NI: It has started!!

(The three move into defensive postions)

/.er2: Java is slow!

N: On it! (Neo starts firing)

/.er3: OpenOffice.org is BLOATWARE

NI: Mine!

/.4: Macs are for losers

NL: So mine (throws grenade. Waits a second, throws second)

(The three see something in the horizon, Neo grabs binoculars)

N: Oh. God.

NI: What? (takes binoculars) Dear Lord...

N: Goatse.

(NeoIntel slowly lowers the binoculars)

NI: You sure we can handle this?

NL: Let me see. (takes binoculars from NeoTel)

(pause)

NL: Whoa

N: Gimme those, you are too young to see that stuff. And yes (turning to NI) we have to.

NI: With what? Our good looks?

/.er5: Good looks?? NeoOffice is UGLY looks like..

NI: (shoots /.er5, cutting him off) I hate that guy! I CAN FUCKING PRINT YOU JACKASS!

N: I have an idea!

(Neo runs inside)

/.er6: Communist Russia thinks you suck!

(NeoLight and NeoTel shoot more)

NL: They are still coming!

/.er7: I LIKE DIGG BETTER

NI: Leave him, the others will eat him for us.

NL: Seriously, Slashdot is so much better.

NI: You think so? Even with the new categories in Digg?

NL: Man you can't beat the original.

NI: So true, so true.

/.er8: See, the problem isn't that it runs on java, the problem is that this comment is going to be eight pages long and really really sound like i know what i am talking about. Really. Just keep reading, you'll see... (click to read the rest of this comment)

NL: Dude.

NI: (looking in binoculars again) Whatever you are doing Neo, better do it soon! Goatse is almost here!!

N: I'm working, almost done!!

(the mob of /.ers are almost upon them, NeoLight and NeoTel fire more and more)

NL: I'm out! (NeoLight starts using his gun as a club)

NI: NEO!

N: DONE!

(Suddenly the mob stops. They all turn and rush away)

NI: What the?

NL: Whoa, what did you do?

N: (walks back out) Oh, I submitted an article to Slashdot about the RIAA, they'll be busy for a long time.

OpenOffice.org: I still hate you!

NL: Uh, does she do that every day?

N: Every day.
Back to top
sardisson
Town Crier
Town Crier


Joined: Feb 01, 2004
Posts: 4588

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:10 am    Post subject:

ROTFL!

Wonderful as usual, Jake! Between Alpha 4 and OOoCon, I was wondering how long it would take for a new installment...but lo, it was perennial favorite /. that brought us here....

(I don't get the Goatse bit--is it related to sheepfun avatars?--but still worth a great laugh Very Happy)

Smokey

_________________
"[...] whether the duck drinks hot chocolate or coffee is irrelevant." -- ovvldc and sardisson in the NeoWiki
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:02 am    Post subject:

Jake you are *hilarious*! That is amazing. The digg troll is awesome Smile I don't think I've ever seen a more brilliantly spun usage of nearly all of the various /. cliches in the book!!!!!

On goatse...well, it's a vile porn link that is still used by /. trolls to try to trick people into clicking it and seeing, well, something that no one really ever wants to see. Wikipedia linky (and no, thankfully, the goatse man picture is not up on that page...you really really really don't want to see it).

ed
Back to top
amayze
The Merovingian


Joined: Oct 24, 2005
Posts: 561
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:16 am    Post subject:

I'll post this suggestion here 'cos I think its to frivolous for where it should be!

Why not use jakeOSX's scripts for OOoCon 2006! There sounds like there'll be a few Neo'ers at the convention to take the parts, and ericb could always be approached to play the part of OpenOffice! Very Happy

Andy.
Back to top
sardisson
Town Crier
Town Crier


Joined: Feb 01, 2004
Posts: 4588

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 12:30 pm    Post subject:

ROTFLOL Laughing

France is known for its great theatre, right? Wink

Smokey

_________________
"[...] whether the duck drinks hot chocolate or coffee is irrelevant." -- ovvldc and sardisson in the NeoWiki
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 4:04 pm    Post subject:

I had already asked (and received permission) for a public reading of Jake's play at OOoCon Smile Tentatively I'm hoping to do it during one of the Neo drinkfests and perhaps even try to podcast it (although I don't own an iPod that can record...so I guess it's a misnomer...).

I just want to be able to do the voiceover for the "hey jackass, I moved to Paris" line since that is truly one of the funniest things I have ever read.

ed
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:34 pm    Post subject:

Be sure to check out the first public delivery of Act I in the following podcast by Patrick and Ed during our NeoOffice @ OOoCon event:

* Thespian Drunken Madness

While we totally didn't do it justice I hope everyone gets a kick out of our drunken delivery Laughing

ed
Back to top
OPENSTEP
The One
The One


Joined: May 25, 2003
Posts: 4752
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 12:22 pm    Post subject:

Faster mirror:

* Thespian Drinking Madness

Should be able to deliver it in near realtime Smile

ed
Back to top
jakeOSX
Ninja
Ninja


Joined: Aug 12, 2003
Posts: 1373

PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:01 pm    Post subject:

listened to this the second it was up. it is great.

i was thinking about doing the slashdot one with alien sound effects, but that may be a bit much.. Wink
Back to top
Display posts from previous:   
   NeoOffice Forum Index -> Random Whatnot All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Page 3 of 4

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © Planamesa Inc.
NeoOffice is a registered trademark of Planamesa Inc. and may not be used without permission.
PHP-Nuke Copyright © 2005 by Francisco Burzi. This is free software, and you may redistribute it under the GPL. PHP-Nuke comes with absolutely no warranty, for details, see the license.